Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Sun Returns

With many consecutive days of snow and cold and wind and cloud, my brain is foggy and it's hard to keep up the motivation to think and interact--either with people or with words. But I continue to have a responsibility to myself, to E, to the blog and to God to keep thinking, even when it's fuzzy thinking.

So, trying to get back on track with Epiphany. I've been listening to sermons online from our old church in the city and enjoying the insight received there. I'm having a very hard time being motivated to read my Bible...it just feels like "same old"...the same words I've read a hundred times. I'm a PRO at skim-reading (one has to be to survive grad school) and I feel like I'm just skimming. I need to shake things up. I've been meaning to get a different translation for a long time, like the New Living Translation...I really need to get on that. I did, however, order a meditation guide recommended by a friend and spiritual advisor, so hopefully that will help me find my epiphany.

Winter always makes me hermitatious--wanting to hole up--but it's a vicious cycle, because when I do that, I get depressed, which makes me want to be a hermit even more. What I really need is to stay active--physically, spiritually and relationally--even in these dark and cold winter days. I know many people suffer from this problem in the winter.

Consequently, this quiet exploring time in the church calendar, when we're to examine Christ's life, presents a bit of conundrum for me in conjunction with winter. It's a meditative time in the calendar, but it would be much easier for me if there were something I could do instead of just be thinking. But thinking is important too...it just takes more concentration and effort, and my fuzzy brain is lacking in concentration skills right now.

So, the plan is to fight the hermit temptation, and to look for ways to reach out and to motivate and stimulate my intellect and spiritual journey.

Who's with me?

1 comment:

Peter and Lorraine said...

Sometimes when our brains are "fuzzy" and not working up to snuff, God touches us with some of His basic truths that we normally would overlook with stimulated deeper thinking. This may be a season of just this! If so, treasure it!