Thursday, December 31, 2009
Which got me thinking of all that has transpired in the past ten years. I think this past ten years can be defined as "transitional."
From child to adult.
From high schooler to done grad school.
From "sweet sixteen and never been kissed" to happily married and "not-so-newly-wed."
From farm girl to thriving in the city.
I've learned a lot about myself in this ten years.
And I don't think I have integrally changed...at least not for the worse.
I like to think that I've become more myself.
This past year has been a time of significant growing up and changing as well,
with heart-wrenching pain as well as great joy.
Lessons learned; renewed reliance on God;
friendships strengthened; a new sister.
Most of all, through this year I have been thankful for relationships.
An introvert though I am, the deep meaningful relationships,
the wisdom and trust and love,
the joy of sharing sorrow and laughter,
these are what life is about.
The epiphany of knowing that others have experienced what I now do
or have endured things beyond my small world and are the stronger for it.
It has been a year of living relationally.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Monday, December 07, 2009
What purpose do all those wall posts and status updates serve? On the first beautiful weekend of spring this year, a friend posted this update from Central Park: "[So-and-so] is in the Park with the rest of the City." The first question that comes to mind is, if you're enjoying a beautiful day in the park, why don't you give your iPhone a rest? But the more important one is, why did you need to tell us that? We have always shared our little private observations and moments of feeling—it's part of what friendship's about, part of the way we remain present in one another's lives—but things are different now. Until a few years ago, you could share your thoughts with only one friend at a time (on the phone, say), or maybe with a small group, later, in person. And when you did, you were talking to specific people, and you tailored what you said, and how you said it, to who they were—their interests, their personalities, most of all, your degree of mutual intimacy. "Reach out and touch someone" meant someone in particular, someone you were actually thinking about. It meant having a conversation. Now we're just broadcasting our stream of consciousness, live from Central Park, to all 500 of our friends at once, hoping that someone, anyone, will confirm our existence by answering back. We haven't just stopped talking to our friends as individuals, at such moments, we have stopped thinking of them as individuals. We have turned them into an indiscriminate mass, a kind of audience or faceless public. We address ourselves not to a circle, but to a cloud."
"The new group friendship, already vitiated itself, is cannibalizing our individual friendships as the boundaries between the two blur. The most disturbing thing about Facebook is the extent to which people are willing—are eager—to conduct their private lives in public. "hola cutie-pie! i'm in town on wednesday. lunch?" "Julie, I'm so glad we're back in touch. xoxox." "Sorry for not calling, am going through a tough time right now." Have these people forgotten how to use e-mail, or do they actually prefer to stage the emotional equivalent of a public grope? I can understand "[So-and-so] is in the Park with the rest of the City," but I am incapable of comprehending this kind of exhibitionism. Perhaps I need to surrender the idea that the value of friendship lies precisely in the space of privacy it creates: not the secrets that two people exchange so much as the unique and inviolate world they build up between them, the spider web of shared discovery they spin out, slowly and carefully, together. There's something faintly obscene about performing that intimacy in front of everyone you know, as if its real purpose were to show what a deep person you are. Are we really so hungry for validation? So desperate to prove we have friends?
But surely Facebook has its benefits. Long-lost friends can reconnect, far-flung ones can stay in touch. I wonder, though. Having recently moved across the country, I thought that Facebook would help me feel connected to the friends I'd left behind. But now I find the opposite is true. Reading about the mundane details of their lives, a steady stream of trivia and ephemera, leaves me feeling both empty and unpleasantly full, as if I had just binged on junk food, and precisely because it reminds me of the real sustenance, the real knowledge, we exchange by e-mail or phone or face-to-face. And the whole theatrical quality of the business, the sense that my friends are doing their best to impersonate themselves, only makes it worse. The person I read about, I cannot help feeling, is not quite the person I know."
Thank you for the food for thought, William Deresiewicz.
Friday, December 04, 2009
Thursday, December 03, 2009
When the rain is blowing in your face And the whole world is on your case I could offer you a warm embrace To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear And there is no one there to dry your tears I could hold you for a million years To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet But I would never do you wrong I've known it from the moment that we met No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue I'd go crawling down the avenue There's nothing that I wouldn't do To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on the rollin' sea And on the highway of regret The winds of change are blowing wild and free You ain't seen nothing like me yet
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true Nothing that I wouldn't do Go to the ends of the earth for you To make you feel my love