November in Ten

November was brought to us amidst knitting, first snow,

a terrific box house built by Daddy, a much-loved Halloween costume, 

and many hours of play for two little girls. 

It was a steadily rhythmic month,

in which we watched the light dwindle 

and eagerly awaited the beginning of Advent.

  

 

 

 

 

Pentecost and Beyond

Sunday was Pentecost and thus begins six months of Ordinary Time in the church calendar.

But ordinary time began much earlier by my reckoning. Life has been very full, routine and rhythmic for the past month.

Babies;
Laundry and dishes and diapers and cleaning and cooking;
Pushing hard to complete the renovation project;
Soccer;
Building flowerbeds and garden space and watching seeds grow;
Various volunteer projects;
Mornings and evenings, weekdays and weekends, mealtimes and bedtimes.

My devotional talks about the importance of living in community during this long season of "ordinary time." However, we have yet to establish a clear community such as we had in our previous home.

Too, Luke talks (in quite a Socialist manner, I would argue) about the early believers living in community, selling their property and possessions and giving their money to those who needed it. 

"They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord's supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity" (Luke 2:46).

We haven't found a tight and trusting community such as Luke describes....but then we haven't really searched for it. We've spent a lot of time lately evaluating our beliefs and have come to the conclusion that many churches overcomplicate Christ's command...and for that and various other reasons, we have been slow to become involved in a church again.

Love your God with all your heart, and love your neighbour as yourself.
That is what Jesus commanded, and that is what I hope for this six months.

Our summer offers so many opportunities
for connecting with individuals around us,
for enjoying God's creation,
for teaching little E about the beautiful world we live in.

I intend to bask in the beauty that is Ordinary Time peaceful routine...
to dwell in my community
and, as Luke recorded,
to share meals with great joy and generosity.

Struggling through Lent

To be honest, Lent was a real challenge this year.

I struggled to care.
Struggled to remain awake.
Struggled to remain engaged with the world.

I realized that it's easier to give something up for Lent then to add something. To give something up doesn't require thought or imagination. You just give it up--eliminate it. To decide to add something takes far more energy. And I'm going to say my Lenten "addition" was a bit of a failure. I was relieved for Lent to come to an end.

If anything, Lent this year made me realize just how  ugly, selfish and miserly I/mankind can be. This season of Lent felt dark and cruel. This feeling was echoed by my devotions. As I moved through the Gospel accounts, I was struck most of all by the sense of foreboding Christ must have experienced. He knew what was coming. He knew his friends would abandon him; that the crowds would turn against him. And he carried onward, traveled down that road of palm branches, towards that utter darkness and despair, because of that eternal light and joy on the other side.

And now, Easter has arrived. Christ has risen.

So, I continue to strive.
Strive to choose light.
To love actively.
Seek out and maintain friendships, rather than turtle myself inwards.
To seek God and faith and church.
To take a stand, put myself out there and not fear failure or judgement.

He is risen indeed.

Pascha

The Easter weekend--the Triduum--Pascha--has come and gone in a flash, much like Christmas usually does. In some ways I feel like it went too fast; that I missed it.

But at the same time Christ's sacrifice became meaningful to me in a way I'd never felt before.
B and I also had some really good discussions on what kind of Easter traditions we want to establish for our family.
And, even though we didn't actually observe or celebrate exactly my ideal, we at least noticed the Holy Week.

Maundy Thursday
Good Friday
Holy Saturday
Easter Sunday

Each of these days are significant and integral to the Paschal celebration. My devotional book talks about ways to observe each day, and in future years I hope to do more. We succeeded in going to a Good Friday service, spending some quiet time thinking and talking about the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ, dyeing eggs, eating Hot Cross buns, going to an Easter Sunday service, celebrating with family.

In the future, I'd like to do something for Maundy Thursday, to celebrate Passover like Christ did at the Last Supper and to note this final time Jesus had with his followers prior to his arrest. My sister-in-law's church did a Passover meal with specific liturgy and verses to explore this event. I'd like to participate in something like that.

I'd like to make hot cross buns on Holy Saturday.

I'd like to observe the sunrise on Easter morning...either at a church service or by myself. Last year we participated in a sunrise service on the top of Nose Hill. It was cold and beautiful and meaningful, especially listening to the voices and instruments of people throughout the hills, celebrating Christ's resurrection just as we were.

The biggest thing I took away from this Paschal season is the assurance that while there is much I don't understand about the Christian faith, I choose wholeheartedly to believe in the resurrection of Christ.

Alleluia! He is risen!
He is risen indeed.

Palm Sunday

Yesterday was Palm Sunday, marking the triumphant entry of Christ into Jerusalem before his crucifixion. It is a day of celebration of God's power and glory. As one writer explains, it is a day on which we should "sing with exuberance and wince with foreboding." Interestingly, "Hosanna" the phrase used by the many people celebrating Christ's arrival in Jerusalem, means "Save, I pray."

We went to a Baptist church yesterday where the fact that it was Palm Sunday was mentioned only once--in passing during the beginning worship. No songs celebrating this; no sermon explaining it; no liturgy acknowledging it. This frustrates me. Even if secular society doesn't understand the importance of Easter, churches should. We build up Christmas to huge heights, anticipating it, building worship services around it weeks in advance. But the Sunday before THE most important event in Christian liturgy goes more or less unnoticed? This is the day on which Christ knowingly walked towards his death--for our sake.

May we acknowledge Christ's suffering and triumph in our hearts this week.


Hosanna, Christ Jesus our Savior.

Participation in Lent

Traditionally, one gives something up for the forty days of Lent, to sacrifice or go without in recognition of Christ's ultimate sacrifice.
Historically this meant meat, dairy, sugar, or for some days, food altogether. (On a related note, a good movie about a modern practice of Lent is Chocolat).
In years past, I've given up dessert, Facebook and television.

This year, however, as I thought about what I was going to give up, I had a hard time thinking of anything that would be both significant and achievable. My life these days is pretty quiet and simple, with not a lot of extraneous activity.

So I decided that this year, instead of giving something up, I would add something. To pick a quality that Christ exemplified and try to model that better in my day to day life.

You may ask, and what is it that you're going to do? And I will respond that you're going to be disappointed with my answer.
I'm not going to say.
It may seem like that's the easy way out, not telling anyone, because then there is no one to hold me accountable. But I'm accountable only to God and my conscience anyway. And besides that, I'm abiding by Christ's command regarding prayer:
"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

My Lenten offering is not something "to be seen by men" but meant rather to be a quiet offering to God. (Well, not so quiet, since I'm blathering on about it here...)

Lengthen

I have learned that the word Lent comes from the Saxon word for length, 

which specifically denoted springtime. 

So, once again, the church calendar is specifically connected to the seasons in the natural world. 

This connection seems apropos considering the weather we have of late...

It's beginning to feel like--dare I say it--spring?? 

The snow is melting into giant puddles; the sun's strength means heavy winter coats and toques aren't necessary; little E took her afternoon nap outside.

Fat Tuesday and Beyond...

Our 'Fat Tuesday' [International Pancake Day] was a great success again.
The pancakes were delicious; the company was delightful.
We've been doing this tradition of celebrating Pancake Day for three or four years now. It's really rather silly and more of an excuse to eat a big delicious meal of pancakes than anything else. And we love it.

But it also gives me cause to stop and contemplate the day and season afterwards.

Lent. The forty or so days before Easter.

The Catholics count it from Ash Wednesday to Maundy Thursday; excluding Sundays, which equals thirty-eight days.
Some Protestants count from Ash Wednesday to Holy Saturday, equaling forty days.
The Orthodox Church counts from the Sunday seven weeks before Easter and go til Good Friday, also equaling forty days.
Regardless of the exact number of days, or of whether some days are excluded, or of when it starts or ends,
Lent is a time to stop
and quietly take stock of ourselves in relation to, and our response to, the sacrifice Jesus made.

As my devotional says,
"to embrace a spiritual gravity, 
a downward movement of soul, 
a turning from our self-sufficiency, 
and sinfulness."

Much more on this to come.

Seasons

 If Candlemas be fair and bright,
Come winter, have another flight;
If Candlemas bring clouds and rain,
Go winter, and come not again.

In as much as I am following the Church seasons (nearing the end of Epiphany, starting towards Lent), I am again finding it easier to simply pay attention to the seasons of Nature. Several weeks ago was Candlemas. Candlemas coincides with Groundhog Day in secular culture and the Feast of the Presentation, recognizing the presentation of the infant Christ at the temple.

Groundhog Day has never signified anything to me (that is, until I met my husband and was introduced to the movie Groundhog Day). Regardless of what said groundhog "predicts," around here we're going to have many months of winter yet.

I'm learning to appreciate the church calendar and the importance of the presentation of Christ. I heard a really interesting sermon on the topic recently, talking about the earth-shattering significance of Christ's presentation at the temple to two righteous souls, Simeon and Anna, who had been told that they would meet the Savior before their deaths. But more importantly, I'm ongoingly appreciating the character of Christ as it is presented throughout the Gospels. More on this to come.

But in these cold, cold, COLD days of February (-38 with the windchill this morning), the Candlemas occurence at roughly halfway between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox represents a hopeful turning. The days are longer now. The sun shines more, regardless of the cold. And this, we feel..the sun's strength on our cheeks; my plants flourishing in a south-facing window; the hope and delight in planning our garden for spring.

So, just as at Christmas I celebrated both the coming of Christ and the shift of the earth back towards the sun, so also now I celebrate Christ's life and the clearly lengthening days. Thanks be to God.

The Light Grows

I've discovered that it's hard to think critically, constructively, analytically when one is sleep deprived for consecutive nights for months on end. My quest for insight into the life of Christ and my larger project of being aware of the church year continues, but my soggy brain moves as slow as molasses in the weather we're having today (ie COLD, with a wind chill of REALLY COLD).

The Most Excellent news is that we're now officially living in our house. Stove, oven, kitchen sink, clean and dust-free floor space, we've got it all. And as of yesterday, we also have curtains on our front window (so we don't have to worry about walking around naked as all the neighbours drive by slowly to see how the renos progress) and a shower curtain (so baths can again be relegated to E's domain). Baths are great for relaxation, but they're time consuming and not efficient for washing long hair.

Consequently, we can finally develop some daily rhythm of functional living. We can very much feel the sun's earlier rising; it gets easier and easier to get up in the morning. It's a joy to make coffee in our kitchen, and to watch E play on the floor in the morning sunshine flooding into our living room. And now that we're done the biggest bulk of the reno project, and E has a quiet room in which to sleep, hopefully we can settle her into a more comfortable sleeping routine, leaving me more time and energy to study and think and blog.

February

It is February all ready...seems like January really flew by. It was a busy month, full of painting and other house projects, weekly library baby times, yoga and walking, visits with friends and plans for summer, in amongst all the normal daily activity.

It's also the Fifth Week of Epiphany and I continue to study the life of Christ. In one devotional I'm working through, the commentator writes "Jesus reveals his glory--his authority and power and love--in the place of worship, yes, but also inside a home, out in a front yard, down by the riverside and in the midst of a wedding. It's in these everday contexts that he invites belief, at least enough to begin following him" (103).

Everyday contexts are mostly all I have these days...the daily rhythm of laundry and diapers and playing blocks and naps, and it's in this everdayness that I seek to discover Jesus and his place in my life. It's this deity that I need, one who dwells in  and cares about the small moments and details of life.

The Sun Returns

With many consecutive days of snow and cold and wind and cloud, my brain is foggy and it's hard to keep up the motivation to think and interact--either with people or with words. But I continue to have a responsibility to myself, to E, to the blog and to God to keep thinking, even when it's fuzzy thinking.

So, trying to get back on track with Epiphany. I've been listening to sermons online from our old church in the city and enjoying the insight received there. I'm having a very hard time being motivated to read my Bible...it just feels like "same old"...the same words I've read a hundred times. I'm a PRO at skim-reading (one has to be to survive grad school) and I feel like I'm just skimming. I need to shake things up. I've been meaning to get a different translation for a long time, like the New Living Translation...I really need to get on that. I did, however, order a meditation guide recommended by a friend and spiritual advisor, so hopefully that will help me find my epiphany.

Winter always makes me hermitatious--wanting to hole up--but it's a vicious cycle, because when I do that, I get depressed, which makes me want to be a hermit even more. What I really need is to stay active--physically, spiritually and relationally--even in these dark and cold winter days. I know many people suffer from this problem in the winter.

Consequently, this quiet exploring time in the church calendar, when we're to examine Christ's life, presents a bit of conundrum for me in conjunction with winter. It's a meditative time in the calendar, but it would be much easier for me if there were something I could do instead of just be thinking. But thinking is important too...it just takes more concentration and effort, and my fuzzy brain is lacking in concentration skills right now.

So, the plan is to fight the hermit temptation, and to look for ways to reach out and to motivate and stimulate my intellect and spiritual journey.

Who's with me?

Epiphanic Thoughts

"We who have seen the light of Christ are obliged,

by the greatness of the grace that has been given us,

to make known the presence of the Savior to the ends of the earth...

not only by preaching the glad tidings of His coming;

but above all by revealing Him in our lives...

Every day of our mortal lives must be His manifestation,

His divine Epiphany, in the world which He has created and redeemed."

--Thomas Merton

In my experience, preaching rarely works. Preach; preachy; preaching. No matter what the version of the word, it has negative connotations for me...ones of "holier than thou" attitudes, of  hypocrisy, of empty words, of force. Now, not all preaching is like this--I appreciate a good meaty sermon very much--but I don't think it makes a very good life attitude.

Which is why I strive to reveal Christ, rather than preach Him. I learn best by watching the good example of others...and I'm sure others do too. And now, with a pair of small bright and aware blue eyes following me and taking in all my words and actions, I need to be even more aware of how I model Christ in my life.

Farewell and beyond

Image borrowed with permission from B's photographic project.

Today is officially Epiphany: the sixth of January, the Twelfth Day of Christmas..
With it comes the end of the Christmas season in our books. We packed up our decorations and took the tree outside.

But, in my reading about Epiphany, I am discovering that it marks not the conclusion of Christmas so much as the beginning of a season of thinking about Christ's life. Churches begin a new season with Epiphany...decorating with white for the first week to recognize Christ's baptism by John, and then switching to green until Transfiguration.

So, from Advent to Christmas to Epiphany we travel. And in this time of Epiphany, I shall re-examine the life of Christ as presented through the gospels, and ask:

What kind of man was He, in whom we place our faith of salvation? And, what makes Him so worthy of this faith and trust?

Waiting for Epiphany

A friend dropped by with a book.
A gift for Epiphany.
And a much needed reminder to return to my  project of the church year, and a inspiration for said project.
(Thanks friend!)

What is Epiphany?
It is the day we celebrate the coming of the three kings to see the infant Jesus. Which represents the spreading of the Gospel to all nations. The multicultural threads of the story of Immanuel, God with Us.

Another question:
What is an epiphany?
According to the dictionary, 
"a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience." (bolding for emphasis mine).


In the previous mentioned epiphanal gifted text (yes, I just made up the word epiphanal) the reading for January 5th is from John Donne, one of my favourite spiritual writers. In regards to Epiphany, he writes:


"...Every action that manifests Christ to us is his birth, for Epiphany is manifestation. Every manifestation of Christ to the world, to the Church, to a particular soul is an Epiphany, a Christmas Day."


I like this, this idea of a manifestation of Christ to an individual being an Epiphany. One example of this--the first example--was Simeon's experience when Jesus was first presented at the temple. Simeon literally and physically experienced The Epiphany...the presence of the Christ. Really, that's what The Shack is...a story of a man experiencing an Epiphany...God manifested in his life in an earth-shattering manner. 

In this season of Epiphany that begins on the 6th and ends with the beginning of Lent, may we find said Epiphany...these "simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience[s]" that manifest Christ to us. And, greater yet, may we be a manifestation of Christ in the lives of others.

Mundanity

I'm welcoming the return to normal around here.

Not entirely normal, though.
Our wall is covered in cheery Christmas cards and photographs.
The Christmas tree and decorations will remain until Epiphany.
We have two New Years' celebrations with friends coming up.
And as the house slowly is completed, every new step is a celebration.
(We ordered our flooring on Tuesday!)

But the laundry and dishes continue,
E takes her daily naps,
We go for daily walks.
And weekly trips to the library.
And all this is good. Routine and rhythm is a beautiful thing.

And as the Twelve Days of Christmas continue on (it's the Sixth Day today),
we consider further how our own personal beliefs and values (specifically those regarding Christmas)
will be exemplified and/or taught to our children.

Tilting toward God

From a wise friend: "Today the earth begins its tilt toward inevitable spring & summer. 
This season, we celebrate that history began its tilt toward inevitable perfection & joy.  
Thanks, God. Nice job on both fronts."

I find it incredibly apt that these two events, Christmas and the Winter Solstice, virtually coincide. However, this year the solstice weighs much more heavily on my mind than does the birth of Christ. This year, more than ever before, I'm feeling the short days of early winter. Feeling them more than Advent or Christmas. 

Some have argued that we celebrate Christmas when we do to coincide with and offer and alternative celebration to the winter solstice celebration of pagan religions of the past. I will not weigh in on this discussion with my uneducated opinion, but I will say that if that is in fact the case, then it was aptly done. We, or rather, I, NEED something to celebrate to combat the cold and dark. At this time of year, we light candles, sip hot drinks and get together with family and friends. All excellent remedies for long dark nights, and for that I am thankful.

With the passing of the solstice, we will slowly but inevitably and surely slip towards spring. This event I feel in my body. However, as the days slip closer to Christmas, I find my grumpy spirit wondering how it is any different than any other day. I NEED to feel this event in my soul as much as I feel the lengthening of days in my body.

Closer Again

Another tumultuous week brings us closer to Christmas. B and E are sick with some yucky combination of a cold and flu, which I have as yet avoided (but not likely for long). We're all home for the day today, spending some quiet time trying to recuperate in time for Christmas.

What interesting Christmasy things have we done this week?

Gifting: Did a lovely afternoon of Christmas shopping, during which I remembered just how much fun it is to find cool things you just know the recipient will love. And also realized that Chapters sells a whole lot of very neat stuff. I could spend SO MUCH on books...kids' books, cookbooks, art coffee table books, biographies, travel guide books, and of course FICTION.

Celebrating: Had a wonderful quiet Christmas party with J&M during which food and wine were consumed, games were played, E experienced her first gift-opening, and we rediscovered what a talented artist my sister-in-law is.

Church:  Attended an old-school Lutheran Church that follows the traditional Lutheran liturgy including the Apostle's Creed, and the Lord's Prayer. It felt so comfortable to fall back on that traditional order of service.

Thinking: Spent a long time contemplating faith and Christmas with some insightful discussions with friends...and have come a bit closer to understanding why we choose to believe what we do. Does that sound complicated? It IS complicated.

Family: Had several family gatherings, both planned and spontaneous, both working and lazing about, which made us once again appreciate our family. Christmas really is an important time to be around family.

Christmas Traditions

We've spent quite a lot of time lately thinking about and discussing Christmas traditions over the past couple of days and I think it's been quite productive. We've been thinking very carefully about what it is we're trying to celebrate and hold important and how we want to build that into our family. It has all become much more imminent to discuss, now that we have a Little One for whom we want to create a family routine. So far, we've come up with a couple of traditions to set in place:

Tradition #1: head west to pick out and cut down our own Christmas tree. 

We did this first last year in the -40 degree "crispness." This year was much, much warmer and equally as fun. I can't wait til next year when E can participate in the jollity to a greater extent.

Tradition #2: attend Christmas Eve service. 

I often attended a candle light service growing up, where each person got their own candle to light and hold, and the flickering mix of darkness and light always filled me with awe. Last year we went to a Midnight service downtown Calgary and that was also very precious and meditative time, our last Christmas as "two."

Tradition #3 (not quite clearly thought out yet): extend the holiday.

Last year we considered drawing Christmas out to the "twelve days"--that is, the days between Christmas Eve and Epiphany in January. This year we're celebrating Advent, the four weeks prior to Christmas. We want to draw focus away from simply celebrating Christmas Eve/Day somehow.

And more: we're always interested in hearing about other people's traditions. What do you do as a family to celebrate St. Nicholas/Christmas Eve/Christmas Day/Epiphany/12 Days of Christmas or any combination of the above?

Third Week

Borrowed from Cyberbrethren

For the Third Sunday in Advent, we traveled back to our home church in the city, to see old friends and revel in being a part of that community again. The sermon (though I missed part of it) was based on Luke's account of Zachariah and Elizabeth...it was about Christmas, which I was really blessed by. The story is pretty amazing, when you think about it--an angel appearing to a man in the temple, a baby born to parents too old to bear children, a baby who was prophesied to have a hugely important task in life preparing the way for Christ.

I think it might be important that we find a church that will acknowledge the events of the church calendar...or at least not be opposed to acknowledging them. It's not a matter of placing too much emphasis on tradition and not enough on relationship. It's a matter of appreciating the richness and depth of the history of the established church and the concern ancient Christian founders had for understanding the doctrines of Christianity. More on this to come.

Advent is relatively easy to celebrate. As our pastor friend explained it, it's a holiday where "the world celebrates with us." It's easy to prepare and anticipate and await because everyone is (though perhaps anticipating different things) whereas I think it's going to be more difficult with other things, like Pentecost. At any rate, right now I'm actually really glad that everyone is celebrating with us, because I don't have a lot of energy to be the carrying force for the celebration. So the fact that celebrating is built into these four weeks of December is a blessing. Eggnog, decorations, candles, the happy celebratory feeling...these are all readily available to us and we partake with glad hearts!

And, as a side note, how thankful we are for the people who have offered us their kitchens to bake cookies. We had an opportunity to do some baking Saturday night thanks to B's parents and these delicious recipe suggestions (note: sea salt is a tasty addition to chocolate cookies).